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Rightspeak Glossary

Foreword Spin-doctor at work

The acronyms, deceptive labels, and other fuzzy bits of language promulgated by the Bush - Cheney administration did much to obscure its true intent. Aside from that useful political purpose, such misleading terms served to confuse our allies, mislead the Congress, and limit the understanding of the voting public. In addition, our corporate masters have expanded their efforts (championed for decades by their Madison Avenue co-conspirators) to bamboozle the consuming public about the efficacy and potential hazards of their products. This Glossary is william's attempt to push back against a massive tsunami of disinformation, and speak truth to the few surviving citizens who may still be interested in saving our country from the public and private sector purveyors of greed and corruption.

Most glossaries and dictionaries published to date have used a simple alphanumeric sequencing algorithm to organize content. Perhaps the most significant accomplishment of the information age (to date) has been the development of devices to permit random access to data. Random access capabilities liberate the user from the constraints of serial processing and eliminate cumbersome linear retrieval limitations. As a believer in state-of-the-art technology, william has chosen to organize his glossary randomly. While this decision may make it more difficult for users to locate specific terms, william believes that the elegance conferred on his work by the use of such advanced concepts more than outweighs any perceived disadvantage to the reader.

In the creation of the Rightspeak Glossary william is deeply indebted to George Orwell. In a lengthy appendix to his classic 1984, Orwell sets forth in exquisite detail the objectives, structure, and methodology of Newspeak. The current day proponents and perpetrators of Rightspeak have been quite faithful to the Orwellian vision of Newspeak. It is clear that they intend not only to provide a medium of expression for their particular religious conservative world-view, but to make all other modes of thought impossible. Their version of language, like Orwell's Newspeak construct, is designed not to extend but rather to diminish the range of thought. Most terms selected from the discourse of the Religious Right for this glossary belong in what Orwell would label the B vocabulary (they are compound words or phrases that have been deliberately constructed for political purposes). Such terms are often euphemisms, but never ideologically neutral.

The opinions expressed in this document are solely those of the author. The glossary has not been reviewed by anyone in authority, or even by a responsible adult. The definitions contained herein are neither approved nor welcomed by any government, individual, firm, or agency. Anyone who has read this far and chooses to base an action on some perceived understanding gleaned from the glossary, truly deserves to suffer the full consequences of that decision.

Will Henry      
June 21, 2005

man jumping up & down

activist judge - a jurist who has issued a decision contrary to your strongly held views on a subject of concern to you or to your favorite Talk Radio Host. See also: judicial conservative.

judicial conservative - a jurist who interprets the Constitution very much as you and your friends do.

family values - my values, or the values of my family or my friends.

compassionate conservatism - conservatism made to appear more user-friendly, warm, and fuzzy by the addition of an adjective designed to conceal the hostility of conservatives to the poor and less fortunate members of society.

stay the course - I have spoken with God, I know what I am going to do, now don't confuse me with the facts. Strategy followed by a number of famous skippers (e.g. Captain of the Titanic, Captain of the Exxon Valdez).

liberate - to conquer, capture or destroy. As in Rome liberated Carthage, and was later itself liberated by Barbarians, or as in liberate the city of Fallujah.

pro-lifers - groups of anti-abortion activists who vigorously oppose the scientific use of undifferentiated embryonic stem cells, but who support the death penalty, and are nowhere to be found when real people are dying.

pro-choice - groups of misguided heathens who are taken with the curious notion that women are not baby factories and have a right to control what grows in their own bodies.

Protection of Marriage Act - a statute that would enshrine my definition of marriage as opposed to the one espoused by a bunch of queers who would seek to broaden and de-sanctify it to include other kinds of couples in other kinds of permanent loving relationships.

USA Patriot Act - a statute having nothing to do with patriots or patriotism that gives sweeping new powers to law enforcement with which to spy on, harass, or repress citizens of the USA.

flip-flop - a term used to refer to opponents who hold reasoned positions on complex issues that I see in simple black and white terms. e.g. You are either for us or agin' us.

Department of Defense(DOD) - War Making Department (WMD).

Department of Homeland Security - Bureau of Internal Surveillance. An enormous newly formed bureaucracy that quickly demonstrated its impotence by failing to respond in timely or competent fashion to the drowning of New Orleans and other Gulf Coast cities by hurricane Katrina.

enemy combatant - anyone who I so designate. Someone who can be held indefinitely without access to counsel, and who needn't be afforded any rights or protections under the Geneva Accords.

terrorist - anyone who I so designate. A bad guy. An insurgent. A Muslim [Extremist].

Muslim extremist - see terrorist.

War on Terror - a war on anyone I designate. A war in any Muslim country. A war in Afghanistan. A war in Iraq. A war of liberation. See also liberation and terrorist.

energy policy - policies for the benefit of corporate energy interests, and in particular oil companies, at the expense of the public and the environment.

No Child Left Behind Act - a statute that ostensibly enhances public education by instituting an under-funded national policy of standardized testing with Draconian economic sanctions for failure.

patriot - a person who wears a small metal replica of the US flag in the left lapel and who has likely never risked life and limb in defense of the cloth version. Alt. Anyone displaying a dirty and tattered cloth replica of the US flag from a pickup or other motor vehicle (preferably with a visible gun rack).

traitor - anyone who is not a patriot.

detainee - anyone who I so designate. Detainees may be held indefinitely (without disclosure) for alleged immigration violations. See also enemy combatant.

freedom - An American commodity that can be exported to less fortunate countries by making war on them. See also liberate.

faith-based initiative - a policy designed to blur and eventually breach the Constitutional barrier between church and state. Not to be confused with handouts of cash by the federal government to religious organizations so that they can discriminate against unbelievers with tax-payer money.

ownership society - a society owned by me and my wealthy and powerful friends.

tax simplification - a process for making the tax structure less progressive. See also ownership society.

WMD - Weapons that Mysteriously Disappear. The most lethal weapons on the planet, the whereabouts of which are apparently unknown to most intelligence agencies.

UN - Undisciplined Nations. An assembly of all the governments in the world that cannot seem to agree on most of the basic principles that five-year-olds learned in kindergarten.

Security Council - An arm of the UN comprised of the most insecure governments, in which any one of two current and three former superpowers can block the actions of all the rest.

evil empire - any country that I so designate. Any nation that I perceive is hostile to mine. Those who are agin' us.

axis of evil - a group of several evil empires that I so designate. Useful term for whipping up popular hostility against countries in preparation for increases in the Defense budget. See also: evil empire, Department of Defense.

death tax - inheritance tax. A misleading label applied to a legitimate tax by the super-rich and their White House and Congressional allies in order to defeat a source of revenue to the federal government and increase the national deficit.

inheritance tax - a tax on the estates of the super-rich so that society can try to obtain some benefit from massive accumulations of ill-gotten wealth that would otherwise be passed along intact to the spoiled and undeserving offspring of the obscenely wealthy. See death tax.

Social Security reform - efforts by a national leader to prop up an insolvent system of social welfare for the elderly which has been rendered potentially bankrupt by the plundering of its assets by the nominal trustees of its supporting fund.

welfare reform - efforts by a national leader to prop up an insolvent system of social welfare for the poor which has been rendered too expensive by creating a culture of dependencies among its recipients through a series of insane incentives and bureaucratic bungling.

Medicare reform - efforts by a national leader to prop up an insolvent system of social welfare for the elderly, sick, and dying which has been rendered potentially bankrupt by runaway health care costs, insane incentives, and bureaucratic bungling.

NATO - Now Anachronistic Territorial Organization.

national debt - something we need not concern ourselves with until the Chinese Communists, the Arab Sheiks, the Russian Mafia, and the German Neo-Nazis end up owning most of what used to be the USA.

preemption doctrine - a foreign policy whereby more powerful nations can invade and occupy less powerful neighbors on the grounds that they feel threatened by them. Used by Hitler to justify invasion of Poland and Bush to justify invasion of Iraq.

strict construction - a technique whereby selected portions of a text are read and interpreted literally to support a predetermined position, and conflicting portions of that same text are ignored. Frequently used in conjunction with the Bible and the United States Constitution.

SEC - Seriously Emasculated Commission.

shock and awe - a condition experienced in the White House and Pentagon when the Iraqis responded to the US liberation of their country with a growing and savage resistance. See also liberation.

fiscal responsibility - a curious concept similar to pay as you go economics. A former rallying cry for Conservative Republicans that has been coopted by Liberal Democrats and is actually adhered to by neither. See also pay as you go.

pay as you go - a concept most Americans learned when they received their first allowance, but apparently forgot when they were elected to public office.

free press - corporate media. A formerly important institution that now disseminates corporate, political, and ideological propaganda packaged as entertainment.

CIA - Completely Ineffective Agency. A formerly independent agency responsible for the collection and analysis of foreign intelligence.

FBI - Famously Bullheaded Institution. A formerly independent agency responsible for the collection and analysis of domestic intelligence. Takes its name from its founding father who had the goods on just about everyone, and hence was the real untouchable.

Department of State - Department of Diplomacy. A formerly professional agency responsible for the conduct of US foreign policy.

FDA - Flatulent Drugged Agency a.k.a. Department of Pharmaceutical Corporate Development. A formerly professional agency, charged with protecting the health and safety of the US public with respect to the food that they eat and the drugs that they take, that is now an organ funded by the Pharmaceutical Industry.

EPA - Environmental Prostitution Agency. A formerly professional agency, charged with protecting the health and safety of the US public with respect to the air that they breathe and the water that they drink. Now an organ of the Timber, Mining, and Oil Industries.

global warming - A condition that exists all over the Planet Earth, except for Washington, D.C., where some of the folks who make up our Congress do not seem to notice it as they go from their air-conditioned homes to their air-conditioned work places in their air-conditioned vehicles.

individual accounts [for Social Security] - private accounts designed to syphon off funds from an already stressed national insurance policy for the aged into the pockets of the financial services industry where they belong.

flag-burning amendment - A Constitutional amendment designed to overturn a US Supreme Court decision that had the temerity to defend our First Amendment freedoms. Largely supported by individuals who have never risked their lives in defense of the First Amendment or the flag. [Clue: Notice which of the words "First Amendment" and "flag" are always capitalized]

stand up - prop up into an apparently vertical position. Term used by Washington insiders to convey the impression of progress, as in "stand up the Iraqi forces."

common sense - a label given to any form of intellectual activity that is neither common nor sensible.

spin-doctor - one who neither makes yarn nor comforts the sick. One who spins yarns and doctors the truth. A liar, a deceiver, a cheat, a charlatan, a churl, a knave, a disassembler.

evolution - a comprehensive explanation of how elementary life forms on Earth developed over billions of years from inorganic materials into the complex life forms found today on this planet, that is supported by an overwhelming body of scientific evidence.

creationism - a mystic explanation of how the solar system and all that is in it (including humans) was created out of whole cloth by a supernatural being in six days, that is supported by mythology and one religious book.

intelligent design - see creationism.

covert operations - off-the-books operations that used to be conducted by the CIA and that are now performed by the Pentagon, the National Security Council, the Vice President, or anyone else not subject to Congressional oversight.

interim appointment - a procedure the founding fathers placed in the Constitution to cover vacancies that might occur when Congress was not in session (which then was thankfully a good deal of the time) but that now has been corrupted by the executive branch as a means of thwarting the "advise and consent" role of the Senate.

equal justice under law - a concept defined by the expression:
Jq = M + 1/2( P x W) Where:

Jq is the Quality of Justice
M is the amount of money under control of the defendant
P is the popularity of the defendant
W is the whiteness of the defendant's skin

FEMA - Faltering, Equivocating, Malfunctioning Agency. An organ of the federal government charged with responsibility to provide immediate on-site relief in situations of natural or man-made domestic disaster. Was reasonably effective until swallowed whole by the Department of Homeland Security, (which is still ruminating it), and its leadership was placed in the hands of incompetent political appointees. See also Department of Homeland Security.

disaster relief - federal money that is immediately provided in copious amounts to a battleground state during an election year. Not to be confused with desultory relief which is provided at all other times and places.

emergency preparedness - plans, procedures, structures, levee improvements, equipment, training, and other readiness measures that are implemented or put in place by government following the occurrence of the emergency or disaster they are designed to prevent.

Iraq reconstruction - hundreds of billions of taxpayer dollars expended in a foreign land to attempt to repair the devastation caused to the Iraqi infrastructure by the invasion of US military forces, and the subsequent insurgency it provoked, to the benefit and profit of major US corporations having White House connections. See also: Iraq liberation and war on terror.

New Orleans reconstruction - hundreds of billions of taxpayer dollars expended domestically to attempt to repair the devastation caused to the New Orleans infrastructure by the inept handling of Hurricane Katrina by government, and the subsequent flooding it provoked, to the benefit and profit of major US corporations having White House connections. See also: Corporate welfare.

mandatory evacuation - a process that begins with a peristaltic wave from the President as he belatedly flies over the devastated area in Air Force One on his way back to Washington from vacation, which then causes pressure on the breech of the alimentary canal, and results in the flushing away of the poor, elderly, and disabled as if they were so much human waste.

war profiteering - an archaic term of approbation used during WW-II to describe corporations or individuals that took advantage of wartime shortages and conditions to gouge the public or the government and inflate their earnings. Was rendered meaningless by the activities of President Bush and Vice President Cheney in approving, encouraging, and supporting such conduct by their oil industry and Halliburton friends.

acceptable interrogation method - any act that the President, Attorney General, Secretary of Defense, General Officer, other officer, noncommissioned officer, private, or civilian contractor, believes to be in the national interest when attempting to elicit intelligence from prisoners. See also: torture.

torture - only such acts performed on prisoners that produce pain equivalent to or exceeding that experienced by an individual upon the failure of a major organ or group of organs. [Except for the CIA, which is subject to no restrictions whatsoever] Not to be confused with sleep deprivation, stress positions, menacing with dogs, beating, electric shock to the genitals, debasement or humiliation which according to the former Attorney General were not torture at all.

judicial philosophy - Religious, social, and political views of a candidate for an Article III judgeship as measured by the extent to which the candidate has a proven record of strict adherence to the dogma of the Religious Right and the philosophy of Extreme Conservatives. Not to be confused with a litmus test.

litmus test - Any kind of a definitive test that is applied to a candidate for a government position. Useful for determining who should be appointed to a position in the Department of Justice.

blame game - phrase used by a government official who has been caught in an illegal, unethical, corrupt, or lascivious act in the attempt to divert public attention away from his or her culpability. Not to be confused with allegations of a vast right/left wing conspiracy.

extraordinary rendition - rendition is a process applied to the carcass of an animal in order to extract proteins, fats, and other usable parts. What makes it extraordinary is that the CIA abducts human beings labeled as terrorist suspects and secretly transports them to foreign powers to be rendered for interrogation. These processes are not friendly to body parts, and can result in serious injury or death to one so rendered.

NSA - No-limit Snooping Agency. A formerly respectable organization charged with intercepting foreign electronic intelligence. Used by the Bush-Cheney Executive Branch to spy on and monitor the communications of US citizens in violation of federal law.

regime change - assassination of leaders of foreign countries by the US military or by means of covert operations designed to bring down a government in a sovereign state that is considered to be a US enemy. a.k.a. decapitation. See also: invasion, conquest, colonization, and empire.

fair trial - a war crimes trial conducted in a conquered and occupied country by officials hand picked by the prevailing party. a.k.a. victor's justice. Not to be confused with a trial by the International War Crimes Tribunal in the Hague which is not to be trusted by nations that evidently are uncertain they can meet its standards of justice.

unitary executive - God Save the President! A concept whereby the President of the United States of America can do whatever the hell he wants to without interference from the foolish Congress or the pesky Judiciary.

stare decisis - a legal concept that requires much weight, great respect and considerable deference be given to the prior decisions of the Court, except when the current members disagree with them, in which case they are subject to being overruled, limited, modified, reinterpreted, or otherwise nibbled away at.

terrorist surveillance program - domestic spying on US citizens by the NSA, who is eavesdropping on your private telephone and email conversations. See also NSA

radical Islam - Any Islamic group or faction that I wish to designate as the enemy. Not to be confused with Islamic regimes that cooperate with the West, no matter how corrupt, dictatorial or oppressive these may be. See also: Muslim extremist, terrorist, axis of evil.

isolationist - any individual who disagrees with the premise that the USA has a Manifest Destiny to spread democracy to Muslim States by invading and occupying those that pose no imminent threat to it.

US protectionist - any individual who fails to understand that satisfying the greed of US Corporations to increase their global trade and bottom line profits is more important than the preservation of jobs for hundreds of thousands of US citizens and their families who have lost their employment and health care due to outsourcing.

Star Wars - still the best movie of the science-fiction series of sequels and prequels it spawned. Alt. A failed weapons system concept left over from the Reagan era that was exhumed by the Bush administration (along with a host of other failed policies) as corporate welfare for the Military-Industrial Complex.

Military-Industrial Complex - An unholy alliance of Defense Industry Executives, Members of Congress, Lobbyists, and the Executive Branch, that President Eisenhower warned us in 1959 posed the greatest peril to our democracy. See also: Axis of Evil.

revolving door - the portal between any two of the four above elements of the Military-Industrial Complex.

alternative energy source development - corporate welfare for the poor oil and gas industries in the form of tax breaks and federal subsidies to relieve them of the costs of research and development, and preserve their obscenely high record profits.

immigration reform - tough measures favored to deal with America's undocumented alien problem by building a high wall around the USA, making felons of millions of workers, and deporting millions more people with the wrong skin color from the Home of the Brave.

controlled release - release of radioactive materials from a nuclear power plant into the surrounding environment due to operator error, equipment failure, or some combination thereof. Not to be confused with incidents like Three Mile Island, which was an uncontrolled release and a near core meltdown.

presidential declassification - a process whereby the Chief Executive of the USA can cherry-pick classified intelligence information and release only those documents that support his attempted deception or manipulation of the US electorate.

radioactive tritium - a substance that is known to cause cancer and genetic abnormalities in humans that is routinely released into nearby rivers and streams by US nuclear power plants, and that has accidentally contaminated ground water in at least eleven locations. Not to be confused with other poisons and toxic substances routinely released by many non-nuclear corporate facilities.

presidential signing statement - neener, neener, neener, Congress and the Judiciary. God save the Chief!

amnesty for illegal immigrants - any immigration proposal that declines to make felons out of illegal migrants to the USA, and fails to immediately deport them.

Internet neutrality - a concept vigorously opposed by several major US Corporations and their Congressional allies who would like nothing better than to gain control over the last free marketplace for ideas.

all options remain on the table - time to reinforce the bunker.

Iraqi Unity Government - a government made up of individuals representing various warring religious sects, ethnic tribes, clans, and warlords, that meets in an American enclave in Baghdad to haggle over who will pocket the lion's share of the oil revenues. A government unified chiefly by common greed and fear of assassination.

status quo ante in the Middle East - the situation on the ground before foreign powers intervene in the region and make it worse.

permanent peace in the Middle East - a condition that has eluded mankind for several millennia.

civil war - a condition that can potentially obtain in any nation-state (even the good old USA, that had a pretty big one in 1860), except for the countries of Iraq and Afghanistan, where it is called "an insurgency", "ethnic violence", "criminal activity", "trouble caused by dead-enders", "terrorist atrocities" or "clashes between opposing militias", depending on the daily body count.

Islamoterrorist - any leader who does not see eye-to-eye with you or your Neocon pals. Need not be either a follower of Islam or a terrorist to be so identified (e.g. President Hugo Chavez).

virtual fence - the perfect solution to your problem if what you seek is virtual security.

alternative interrogation methods - See torture. Not to be confused with humane treatment of prisoners as mandated by the Geneva Accords.

we must support our troops who are in harms way - we must continue to fund a foreign war in which a number of our troops will die or be maimed.

personal responsibility - the responsibility of other persons to take care of their own problems in a time of need (whether or not they are capable of doing so) because I do not wish to be bothered by them.

border security - a condition that has not been attained by any empire, nation, state, or territory on earth since the beginning of recorded history, although some extremely repressive totalitarian regimes have come close.

Congressional funding earmarks - a practice whereby members of Congress can designate taxpayer dollars so they are funneled directly into the pockets of their backers and supporters back home to buy their loyalty in future elections and reward them for those past. Not to be confused with bribery, graft, or corruption, which are illegal.

Congressional Ethics Reform - a measure that puts band-aids on the open wounds of corrupt practices, special interest peddling, and good old boy lobbying, while neglecting to abolish or renounce any of these evils that continue to increase exponentially.

US Moral Obligation to Iraqis - a burden that will be inherited by future generations of Americans as a result of the US invasion and conquest of Iraq, which resulted in the breakdown of law and order, destruction of infrastructure, devastation of the economy, and created hundreds of thousands of civilian casualties and millions of refugees.

Protect America Act - Protect Administration Act. A law passed by Congress that gave the Bush Administration cover from criminal prosecution for violations of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA) by gutting FISA of due process protections and oversight mechanisms.

retail politics - political campaigns in which the candidates for office must appear in person before the electorate and answer the questions and address the concerns of individual citizens. At the presidential level this kind of campaign is limited to two states having an atypical demographic and an insignificant number of electoral votes. See also wholesale politics.

wholesale politics - political campaigns in which the candidates for office appear in sound byte style TV ads and stylized debates before the electorate and stay on the message deemed most effective by their consultants and handlers. At the presidential level this kind of campaign occurs in 48 states having an overwhelming majority of the electoral votes. See also retail politics.

populist candidate - a rich and powerful member of the power elite who professes an interest in the plight of the middle class and of the poor and disadvantaged elements of society while enjoying the benefits denied to them and avoiding the burdens that they suffer.

unity candidate - a rich and powerful member of the power elite who professes an interest in bringing together the disparate elements of partisan Washington, and of the highly polarized electorate, while attacking mercilessly all those who are not members of his or her clan.

change candidate - a rich and powerful member of the power elite who professes an interest in altering the static political landscape without providing specific policies and practices to accomplish same.

Real ID Act - The second contribution to the national security of the US by the Department of Homeland Security (the first being the call for distribution of duct tape to numerous civilian households). To be followed immediately by the introduction of the Real Forged ID, which will be produced in large quantities by foreign nations, groups and individuals seeking to do harm to the US and its citizens.

voter ID laws - laws erected by government in the attempt to prevent the poor, elderly, and minority members of society from exercising the voting franchise and rights of citizenship. See also: poll tax, English-only requirements, purging of voter rolls, and similar techniques.

economic uncertainty - recession.

economic stimulus package - cash handouts to the electorate and to business in an election year, in the hope of stimulating some support for the retention of incumbents.

identity politics - a campaign tactic in which a candidate appeals to the racial, religious, gender, age, or ethnic prejudices of the electorate in order to garner more votes than the opponent(s). Not to be confused with issue politics, which, if practiced at all, is probably limited to selection of the Pope.

the difference is drinkability - what you say about a beer that has nothing to distinguish or recommend it.

I'm lovin' it - what you say about fast food that has nothing to distinguish or recommend it.

TARP - Total Abrogation of Responsible Practices. An Act of Congress that provided the better part of a trillion dollars in taxpayer funds to a lame duck Treasury Secretary to use in bailing out his former Wall Street colleagues and their firms from the financial crisis that they perpetrated to satisfy their collective lust for power and their greed. Was originally intended to buy up worthless assets; later re-targeted to buy up failed or failing financial institutions.

recapitalization of financial institutions - bail out of banks, mortgage lenders, insurance companies, and brokerage houses, with taxpayer dollars, and with few if any conditions placed on the use of these public monies.

human energy - term adopted by Big Oil to make it appear that it is environmentally responsible, and divert attention from the fact that it spends but a tiny fraction of its record multi-billion dollar profits on alternative energy development, and instead remains fully committed to squeezing every last drop of oil out of the planet.

individual results may vary - you will not receive most of the benefit that has been promised you in the preceding solicitation.

some restrictions apply - you will not qualify for the offer that has just been made, but we have another really good deal for you.

some assembly required - after you give up on trying to put this together, get help from someone who knows how to, but for heaven's sake don't show that person the instructions that came with it as they are incomplete, out of sequence, wrongly translated from the Mandarin language, and misleading. Oh, and don't tell that person that several parts that are shown were left out of the shipment, and that you lost several others unpacking.

What we are not doing - is running GM. - what the President said after taking a majority interest in the company and firing the CEO.

US Supreme Court - an older White guy's club subject to occasional membership by token Blacks, Women, and Non-Christians.

war of necessity - any war the US President may deem necessary.

war of choice - any war.

winning the hearts and minds of the people - subduing the populace.

regional conflict - a war requiring violation of the territorial sovereignty of two or more nation states.

bi-partisanship - a condition frequently espoused but rarely encountered in the Halls of Congress. Not to be confused with bi-sexuality, which involves the equal opportunity screwing of the people without limitation as to gender.

ask your doctor if _____ is right for you - pester your doctor to prescribe this expensive medication, _____, for you in spite of its many harmful side effects and questionable efficacy.

health insurance reform - health care reform light.

successful assassination - a pre planned sudden or treacherous killing of a prominent leader or other public figure that is usually motivated by a desire for revenge, strongly held political or religious beliefs, or mental illness, except when carried out at the orders of a dominant world power in which case it is the administration of justice. Not to be confused with premeditated murder which is a crime. See also: victor's justice.

friendly fire - incoming fire directed at your position by those who are supposedly on your side. Responsible for more battle casualties than any nation is willing to admit.

raising the debt ceiling - a process that all business entities and governments invoke when they require additional capital to meet current operating expenses, except for the federal government where it is now used as an excuse to engage in another round of economic brinkmanship for political gain.

tax increase - any government policy that seeks to increase the federal revenue at the expense of the rich and powerful elite, or threatens to interfere with their ever-growing share of the national wealth.

credit default swap - a Wall Street scheme whereby junk securities are guaranteed by non-existent assets, which are then swapped for taxpayer bailout dollars. Not to be confused with a Ponzi scheme, a scam, or a swindle, which are illegal.

too big to fail - too well-connected not to be bailed out with taxpayer dollars.

tea party - Formerly: a pleasant gathering of genteel folk to drink light refreshment while engaged in quiet discussion of little import. Now: a disorderly gathering of raucous individuals who gather with their guns to vent their frustration over a dysfunctional society, spit on people, and propose nothing of import.

political compromise - a lost art formerly practiced in the USA Congress to keep the government and the country stumbling down the path to prosperity. Now replaced by competing ultimata and dueling press conferences.

government spending - what is needed to drive the engine of the US economy and create jobs when consumers stop buying stuff and the private sector hunkers down. Used by FDR to rescue the country from its worst depression, and by President Reagan to bring the economy out of recession in the '80s.

tinkle-down economics - I've got mine, now piss on you peasants. Not to be confused with trickle-down economics, which is an arcane concept left over from the Reagan era, that has been thoroughly discredited by the actual data, and is only preserved within the Extreme Right.

job-killing tax increase - Any proposal that would result in corporations or the wealthiest Americans paying their fair share of the costs of running the government by closing tax loopholes for favored corporations, eliminating subsidies, or removing provisions that benefit the wealthiest few.

job-killing tax - Any proposal that would result in corporations or the wealthiest Americans paying more in federal tax, and thus cause me to lose my job in Congress when they withdraw their financial support from my reelection campaign.

pre owned vehicle - used car.

mob rule - a peaceful protest by citizens in any country, except for the USA, (The First Amendment notwithstanding), where the power elite are understandingly threatened by any occupation of a 'freedom square' by denizens of Main Street so near to their Wall Street capitol (or is that capital?).

nine, nine, nine - Mine! Mine! mine, peasant.

flat tax - regressive tax. A form of taxation favored by those with flat heads and regressive minds since it puts a disproportionate burden of running the government on the backs of the poor, disadvantaged and less fortunate members of society. Not to be confused with a flatulent tax, which doesn't pass the smell test either.

character assassination - term used by candidates for high office to deflect attention from complaints by women that they were subjected to inappropriate sexual conduct by the candidate. Not to be confused with a high-tech lynching.

suspending my campaign - Game Over!

"We have to protect our sovereignty . . ." - explanation given by Vladimir Putin for his government's suppression of peaceful demonstrators against the government in Russia. Not to be confused with similarly disingenuous explanations offered by US mayors of major cities for their suppression of the Occupy protestors in the USA.

affirmative action - a series of measures established in earlier times to give small advantages (such as in competing for government contracts or for access to higher education) to the descendants of those formerly enslaved in this country, or previously discriminated against, in partial compensation for the disadvantages they suffered and continue to experience.   Now seen as no longer necessary in the current post-racial society with its dead-level playing field.

class warfare - Any attempt to point out to the USA public that record corporate profits are being used to increase the disproportionate share of the national wealth held by the privileged elite instead of rewarding the working class that is responsible for creating the wealth.

job creator - a corporate executive, hedge fund manager, billionaire, or other capitalist who has a private jet plane at his beck and call. Alt: a politician who panders to the one percent power elite, thus creating for him or herself a 'job creator' position in the private sector.

47% of Americans who pay no income tax - self-perceived victims on the public dole, who will vote for President Obama.

Alt:   The poor (working and non-working), the elderly, the disabled, the millions rendered unemployed by the collective greed of the privileged 1%, single parents who cannot afford child care, students, out-of-work returning veterans, the sick without health care, the hopelessly addicted, religious institutions, charities, some major corporations, the mentally ill, criminals, prisoners, some millionaires with extensive off-shore holdings and other tax havens, many militia members, some dissidents and separatists; and, the sad remainder of every society and culture known to man who are lazy, shiftless, disaffected, and otherwise alienated, and who seldom vote at all.

fiscal cliff - a man-made mountain of debt containing an artificial precipice created by a dysfunctional Congress as a result of its abject failure to reach a compromise over budget and debt reduction matters, which everyone had agreed must be dealt with.

deficit reduction - a recession or depression in the current economy caused by a misguided austerity program implemented during a time of weak or fragile economic recovery. Not to be confused with real deficit reduction, which occurs during periods of budget surplus brought on by sane economic policies and healthy growth in GDP (i.e. the second Clinton term).

US worker productivity - a number that seems to go up every year, the fruits of which are quickly pocketed by the privileged 1% while worker wages remain essentially flat and the real income of the working class actually declines.

austerity program - any program that seeks to achieve balanced national budgets by drastic reductions in government spending, gutting of government support nets, and the resultant depression in GNP. A strategy favored by the ruling class, one per centers, EU, Republicans, and assorted other elite interests whose lifestyles are not affected by the Draconian impact of such measures on the vulnerable populace.

attack on Second Amendment rights - any proposal that seeks to protect the public health and safety at the expense of the gun lobby, gun manufacturers, gun importers, gun sellers, gun marketers, or gun advocacy groups. Not to be confused with the Second Amendment itself which begins with the limiting language: "A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free State, . . ."   N.B. that few of the above-named entities are members of a State militia, well regulated or otherwise, (The Arian Brotherhood does not count).

NRA (National Rifle Association) - Non Rational Advocacy (NRA). A formerly sane group of gun enthusiasts that now advocates against almost any regulation of the sale, possession, resale, registration, tracking, research into, or other limitation of firearms in the USA; apparently in the belief that the Country is somehow made safer by the widest possible distribution of weapons capable of deadly force, without offering any credible data in support of its position.

The Sequester -

sequester, verb (used with object):
1. to remove or withdraw into solitude or retirement; seclude.
2. to remove or separate.
3. Law. to remove (property) temporarily from the possession of the owner; seize and hold, as the property and income of a debtor, until legal claims are satisfied.
4. International Law. to requisition, hold, and control (enemy property).
The Sequester, noun (as used by Congress):
1. removal or withdrawal from the will of the People.
2. separation of the most vulnerable citizens from the essential services they rely on.
3. Law. Seizure or withholding of national assets as ransom for ideological beliefs or political gain.

collateral damage - dead and maimed civilians.

unmanned aircraft - remotely piloted surveillance/killer drones. (followed shortly by unmanned soldiers, remotely controlled policemen, cylons, and extinction).

crossing a red line - doing something I forbade you to do, or I may bitch-slap you; or not. Not to be confused with crossing a 'line in the sand' which often has real and immediate consequences.

my friend ______ - term used in the Halls of Congress to create the illusion of civility when referring to political opponents who are dire enemies. Not to be confused with real friends and real civility which are accompanied by a willingness to listen to opposing views and negotiating in good faith.

kicking the can down the road - phrase much in vogue when referring to the sole sporadic actions of a dysfunctional Congress in response to the numerous critical national needs of the USA. Not to be confused with real solutions to real problems, which are desperately needed.

To Protect and Serve - traditional motto of many police departments. Formerly a commitment by law enforcement to protect members of the community from harm and serve the public interest. Currently reflects the attitude of many local paramilitary police units to protect the white minority and serve the interests of the rich and powerful.

income inequality - A condition that exists and grows in most 'developed' nations wherein the top one percent of citizens possess more wealth than the bottom half of the populace. a.k.a. greed, economic bondage, and exploitation.

prior authorization required - Health care Rationing. A practice whereby healthcare insurers can second guess your doctor and increase their bottom line at the expense of your life and health. kick me guy

William's Whimsical Summation:

Who put the inmates in charge of the asylum?

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