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Ben Franklin's bifocals Wednesday, July 6, 2005

John Paul Jones
[1747 - John Paul Jones, US naval officer, born in Arbigland, south west Scotland]

The Bambino hitting one out
[1933 - American League wins first All-Star Game 4-2 on Babe Ruth home run]

General George Patton
[1944 - General Patton lands in France]

Whiffenpoofs Lament


No one knows who is responsible for the story that spread like a wildfire across the Yale campus that late Spring day. The news was certainly startling enough to disturb the peace and tranquility of that venerable institution. It was said that the property owned by The Mory's Association, Inc. had been acquired by one of those nameless, soulless multinational conglomerates that had plans to renovate the New Haven landmark and change its character profoundly. Instead of traditional fare of mutton chops, scrambled eggs, Welsh rarebits, ale, sausage, beer, and their progeny, the place was to be completely made over into a Japanese restaurant and sake bar. Not since the uprooting and relocation of the Temple Bar to 306 York Street had such a crisis threatened the community.

A crowd of members and Whiffenpoofs soon collected in and around Mory's, and things might have turned ugly as vicious rumors began to flow like electric current through the multitudes. Some exhorted the rabble with claims that a rival Ivy League institution was behind the diabolical plot to strike at the very heart of Yale tradition. A mob dynamic was beginning to emerge when suddenly everything changed, and calm fell like a mantle over the throng. Dozens of eyewitness accounts are remarkably consistent in their description of the events that took place that fateful Monday at six P.M.

Everyone agrees that the unmistakable visage of the Rev. James M. Howard, ('09) appeared in sharp relief on one the window panes of the tavern. After quieting the crowd with his commanding presence the Reverend with deep sadness uttered the now immortal words:

O tempura,
O Mory's.

William's Whimsical Words:

You may be much relieved to know that there is not one word of truth in this story.

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